People of different nationalities, beliefs, cultures and experiences express themselves in many different ways. This view is demonstrated in poems as well- for example in examining both “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden, a poem of a selfless, hardworking father who gets no thanks and “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke in which the speaker also retells a story of how his father treated him, you can find how differently the speaker of the poem relates to his father because of the way the father expresses himself. While both poems show a caring father trying to make their kid happy, these fathers express their love in different ways ultimately resulting in the speakers perceiving their fathers differently.
In the poem “Those Winter Sundays”, Robert Hayden creates a father who shows his care in a fairly un-obvious and formal way, especially for a child resulting in the speaker not appreciating their father and treating them as any normal person for the majority of the poem. He doesn’t make it easy for the reader or the speaker to identify why he may be doing the things he does. For instance the first stanza states, “Sundays too my father go up early\ and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,\ then with cracked hands that ached\from labor in the weekday weather made\banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.” This is the first stanza of the poem, which immediately give you an idea of what the father does for his kid. By stating that he had cracked hands that ached from labor, we can see that the father is already a hard working person doing work hard enough to crack his hands to keep his family in good condition. But then we see that even on sundays, which are supposed to be a day of relaxation and rest, he got up early despite the cold and dark weather to set up a fire. This shows the reader that the father cares for his child but shows that by doing things many people may not have done after a long week of tiring work. He shows his love by doing something he must be good at, which is working. He uses his experience of hard work to show how he cares for his child rather than doing something people might imagine such as playing with their kid or just sitting down and talking to them. The father also may have realized how serious of a person his work made him and how hard he had to work because of it. Being the caring father he was and not wanting the same fate to be brought upon his son he did the work for him so he could enjoy his childhood worry free of such things. The speaker, however doesn’t recognize this at all and carries on as usual: “Speaking indifferently to him,\ who had driven out the cold\ and polished my good shoes as well.” This shoes that the way in which the father shows his affection for his son is not obvious and is very formal because the speaker doesn’t express gratitude or thank his father, but rather speaks the same to him as he would to anyone else. Now in the future telling this poem and realizing his mistake, the speaker seems to mention all of the things his father had done that would normally result in thanks like polishing his shoes and warming the house because the speaker feels guilty for his actions and finds it unfair that he was unable to enjoy a relationship with such a caring father- that he now must reflect on the things that his father did to contribute to the relationship he was never able to have all because of the way in which his father expressed his love.
In the poem “My Papa’s Waltz”, the father in the poem is much more obvious allowing the speaker to have a positive attitude of their father throughout the whole poem. In this case, the father shows how he cares for his child by roughly playing around with his kid. It is more of a normal relationship as far as how the father expresses himself toward his kid. For example, the last stanza states “You beat time on my head\ With a palm caked hard by dirt,\Then waltzed me off to bed\ still clinging to your shirt.” This is a very nice, happy tone and image provided. It suggests the father- once again being shown as a hard worker through the state of his hands- is using his free time to play and dance with his child. It shows that in contrast to “Those Winter Sundays” this is a father that will obviously show his emotions by simply playing with his kid and having a good time. Overall, this father is very nice- he puts his family first before his own wants and doesn’t just show his love for his kid by making sure he doesn’t have to do work, but by making sure in that free time his kid should have they have fun. He shows no sign that he wouldn’t do that any time if he could and seems to treasure the moments he shares with his child. The speaker therefore shows his father in a good light as he retells stories hinting as to what their relationship was like because he was able to understand that his father cared for him. Secondly, the speaker also says, “We romped until the pans\ Slid from the kitchen shelf;\ My mother’s countenance\ Could not unfrown itself.” This quote describes one of the times the speaker was with his father. In this instance the father is playing roughly with his kid even though he knows his wife may not be happy about it, showing once again that the father is expressing how he loves his kid having a good time with them. The tone of this stanza is not sad or violent as if the father were hurting the speaker in their rough play, but more of a happy and free one. That with his kid the father is able to act like a kid and do things he knows a responsible adult would never do because he has to worry about other things. As if he set aside a whole personality for when he had time to play around with his kid. You can quite obviously see this change and difference between how he treated his child versus how he would treat someone else, by the way the father expressed how important being with his kid was to him.
These poems both explore the stories of a father and their relationships with the speaker of the poem who in both instances is their son/daughter. The way in which the father of each speaker expressed themselves was the main difference maker and greatly changed the manner in which the speaker saw their father as a person. The speaker in “Those Winter Sundays” was unable to see their father as the great person he was because he showed his love in a very subtle way. The very last two lines of the poem state, “What did I know, what did I know\ of love’s austere and lonely offices?” This shows that only now in the present and as a more grown up person was the speaker able to identify his/her father’s actions as love- but that because in his relationship with his father the love he received was so formal and “austere” that he didn’t know that that was love at all. He now understands that his father did more than many parents to show how much he cared for his kid, however through the great majority of the poem the speaker told of his time as a younger less mature and knowledgeable kid who saw his father's actions as just plain and simple actions. Consequently, the speaker’s attitude towards his father was unappreciative. The speaker in “My Papa’s Waltz” was able to easily identify how his father showed his affection towards his son/daughter which is why he thought (and wrote about) his father in such a good light. The quote previously mentioned, stating, “You beat time on my head\ With a palm caked hard by dirt, \ Then waltzed me off to bed\ Still clinging to your shirt.” This quote shows quite a bit. First of all, unlike the first poem, the father shows his love for his child by physically being with him/her and interacting with them. He tries to have a large and positive effect on his kid’s life. Additionally, it shows us that because the father showed his caring for his child in such an obvious way the speaker was able to respond and recognize it, by speaking to the father in that stanza and retelling the nice things the father did for him/her as if to remind and thank him of how he affected his life. In the other poem, the father was so indirect that the speaker rarely seemed to talk to him and on those rare occasions they spoke to one another the speaker showed no gratitude for the way in which he was being treated. Therefore, because the speaker of “My Papa’s Waltz” had an easy time understanding how that his father sacrificed a lot for him and treated him well his attitude towards his father was appreciative and thankful with nothing to feel guilty about.
In conclusion, due to the way in which the father of each speaker in both “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden and “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke expressed their care for their sun/daughter, the speaker held a different perspective of their father. These poems similarly demonstrate an important aspect of life: understanding and interpreting peoples’ actions. Not only that but each poem individually has this idea directly affect the speaker and therefore the tone, vocabulary, and plot of the poem. Knowing how to do something such as understanding peoples actions, and realizing what they mean is important because it can change the plot of your life and affect you in many other ways no matter who you are.
